Posted by: Darcel | October 29, 2008

Striving to be me

I turned 29 this year. It’s been a big wake up call for me. There are so many things I wanted to do or have done by the time I was 30. I now have until Sept 2009 to complete them. Lately I’ve really started to look at my life and what I want it to be. I want to simplify and just enjoy being a wife and mother. I am already doing two of those things, but the other is a bit hard for me. I don’t know why….maybe because in our society we are made to believe that the more stuff we have the better we are. Silly me for buying into that one.
I do feel like I’m slowly coming into my own. I’m learning how to knit. That’s something I never ever thought I would do. It’s really fun! I’ve started my own business, and that’s something I dreamed about for over a year. There are so many other things I want to do. I want to design my own clothes too. I keep telling myself that plans change, but goals don’t have to. Really the only person stopping me is me! I’m just now realizing that I can’t depend on anyone else for my happiness. If I want something, I need to go after it. If I’m not happy, there are things I can do to change my situation so that I am happy. I have all of this power and yet I sit on it. I also try to remind myself that I only have this one life, what am I going to make of it?

Charles and I have decided to cut out pictures of places we want to visit, our dream home, dream car and place them around the house. In the kicthen, bedroom, bathroom….so that our dreams and goals are always in our line of vision. We know it’s going to take time and hard work, but we can do it if we work together. I’m going back to God first, family second and career third. I’ve slowly crept away from what was once the most important to me, and I don’t like the person I am becoming lately. So it’s time for a change. I can do it! I’ve always wanted to get married, have kids and stay home with them. I’m doing it, I’m living my dream right now! I love being a mother, it’s the most amazing job in the world. I’ve let what other people think get to me. Not anymore. Life is too short. I am striving to be the best me I can be, and I’m so sure that once I’ve found my place then everything else will fall into place.

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